Amendment to step 1 from the previous post: --Acquire (through legal means) and physically posses either a knife designed for spreading or a tea/table spoon. They are to be of standard restaurant proportions with only minor variances in size (up to +/-10% in each dimension).
Continuing: Until further notice, all instructions that follow are to be carried out by the designated sandwich maker.
4: Align the two slices of bread such that the side forming the 2 dimensional plane described in step 2 is facing opposite the center of the surface towards which gravity would pull the bread if dropped. While maintaining its gravitational alignment, place the bread upon a clean counter top or tabletop (referred to henceforth as "the work surface"). Let both slices remain within comfortable reach.
5: Manipulate the seal on the container(s) of jelly such that the contents are accessible. Repeat the previous sentence, substituting the words "peanut butter" for the word "jelly".
6: Designate one of the slices of bread as the "jelly slice", and the other as the "peanut butter slice".
7: Wield the utensil acquired in step 1 with the dominant hand. Carefully plunge the non-handle end into the jelly and retract it in such a way that the following measurement (in ounces) becomes true:
0 < Amount of jelly on the surface of the utensil < 4
8: Transfer the jelly from the utensil to the upward-most surface (as defined by the surface furthest away from the work surface upon which it rests) of the "jelly slice", and spread it amongst the confines of the outermost limits of the surface plane for a period of time no greater than 8 seconds.
9: Repeat steps 6 and 7 until the amount of jelly on the bread covers an area no less than 85% and no greater than 100% of its surface, without exceeding a depth of 1/4" at any point.
10: Perform steps 7 - 9 again, substituting the words "peanut butter" with each occurrence of the word "jelly". In the event that the chunkiness of the peanut butter is such that maintaining a uniform depth of less than 1/4" in step 9 is impossible, allow for uneven spots that may protrude above the non-chunky parts up to an additional 1/8".
11: Place the utensil on the work surface.
12: Raise the "peanut butter slice" and maneuver it into the space above the "jelly slice". Taking special care not to disturb the peanut butter (with, for example a thumb or finger), carefully invert the "peanut butter slice" so that the peanut butter on it defies gravity above the "jelly slice" by use of its adhesive properties alone.
13: Lower the "peanut butter slice" until it rests upon the "jelly slice" such that the peanut butter and the jelly that were spread on the surfaces of their respective slices make contact in as many points as possible, forming a "sandwich".
14: Without separating the slices or disturbing their alignment with reference to one another, invert the entire sandwich such that the peanut butter slice is on the bottom. This minimizes dripping.
15: Take a moment to enjoy the completed sandwich. Appreciate its beauty, its aesthetic grace and its simple elegance and deceptively intricate design. Relish the memory of its construction and prepare mentally for the glorious consumption of what must surely be the most meticulously crafted culinary delicacy you have eaten since breakfast last.
This concludes the instructional portion of this segment. All that remains is to eat the sandwich.
Bon appetite
TSN
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