Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Fish

We used to wake up super early to go fishing.  Other than appreciating the stillness that only the middle of a lake at 5am offers, I'm not sure why we got up that early.  I never really noticed an increase in the number of fish I caught vs other times of day.  It raises several questions about fish that I want answered, right now dammit!

Do fish do the three meals a day thing?  Snacks?  Diets? 
Do they wake up hungry for breakfast? 
Do they even sleep?  Do they snore?
Do fish yawn and stretch? 
Do they ever get colds?  What does a fish-sneeze sound like?
Would a fish take NyQuil, wake up groggy and angry, stumble to the bathroom and... wait... no. 
Fish have no eyelids... if a fish is hanging out in a school of other fish and he fells asleep in class... does anybody notice? 
Do wiesenhiemer fish smack other fish with xylophone hammers and quip about "practicing the scales?" 
If I stand on a fish will it tell me how much I weigh? 
If a fish tied a grilled-cheese sandwich to a string and threw it up onto a dock, could he catch a little old man? 
Would that same fish later exaggerate to his friends about how big the little old man was? 
Do fish have friends?  Do they keep in touch on FishBook? 

Uh oh.   

I gotta get out of here before somebody slaps me.  With a fish.   

TSN

1 comment:

Lizzy said...

hahahahahahaha A couple of days ago, a friend and I were actually discussing when and if fish ever slept. Neither of us could ever recall seeing a fish sleep. Do they sneeze and have allergies to seaweed? haha