PBJ - Part 1

My 5th grade teacher once challenged us to write out a procedure on how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and to make it as descriptive as possible. <-- key words. 

The next day, she awaited us in class with a table full of the necessary ingredients.  As I recall, only one of us succeeded in getting the bread out of the bag before she smeared jelly all over it.  My failure on that day disappointed me so much and has eaten me up inside for so long that at long last it has come to this.

The following is an attempt at a PBJ self-redemption: 

How to Make a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

By ShadowsNose

1: Legally acquire the following ingredients:

-- Bread;  Let x represent the number of slices of bread where x is a positive whole integer which satisfies the equation: 1 < x < 3.  Each slice should exhibit a physical property wherein all points on at least one side fall on a single 2 dimensional plane, and wherein the plane has an area y (measured in inches squared), where 9 < y < 64. 

-- Peanut Butter;  1 jar containing between 10-30 oz of peanut butter.  As an alternative, at least 5 level tablespoons of peanut butter, in a container which is sealed, but which is penetrable by a single human adult using only physiologically available tools.  The consistency of the peanut butter should exhibit a crunchiness level to be determined by he or she who is to consume the finished sandwich.

-- Jelly; A sum total of between 1/16 and 1/4 cup of non-nasty (defined by the objectivity of the discerning tastes of the waiting hungries) jelly in a container adhering to the same criteria as that of the peanut butter and of a flavor pre-determined by the would-be consumer. 

2: Designate a block of time in which to construct the sandwich. 

-- Let the variable T represent a block of time not earlier than present time, wherein the following is true: 

                    last mealtime <  T < time of death due to starvation. 

-- Let the end of the designated time-block occur on a timeline before the earliest expiration date printed on any of the ingredients.

3:   Ensure the ingredients and the sandwich-maker are co-located conveniently in space-time such that the sandwich-maker could physically grasp the ingredients, and/or the containers housing the ingredients with his or her hands should he or she choose to do so. 
 
----------------------------  To be continued  --------------------------

The more I think about it, the more technical and in-depth it gets!  It's already out of control.  I've just now situated the sandwich maker and the ingredients into the same room.

More to follow, but not tonight. 

TSN