Peter Pan - Part V

Part V

The Indian girl is Tiger Lily, and she’s the daughter of the local chief, which apparently qualifies her as a princess.  She is a feisty sort, and in response to her interrogation tells Hook he can go piss up a rope even though she’s about to die.  This helps to demonstrate just how beloved Peter is among the womenfolk on the island of Neverland.  Hook leaves her to drown, because he’s a mean guy.  Right as she’s about to choke to death on a mouthful of seawater, Peter Pan shows up, quickly beats Hook in a sword/knife fight (again… the guy just never gets better) and saves her.  He’s now saved two women from certain death in a matter of an hour or so, and gets lots of props from the locals even though both of them were only ever in danger because of him.  

In the meanwhiles, during all the mermaid fawning and pirately torture/attempted murder of indigenous Neverlandians, the lost boys and the Darling brothers gear up to go and hunt Indians.  This is something the lost boys do fairly regularly in good fun, and the Indians play along, so it’s not as horrible as it sounds.  Little do they know that the Indians are pissed off because somebody stole their princess and they can’t seem to figure out who it was despite the fact that there’s a shipload of pirates parked a stone’s throw away.  They've deduced that it was probably this ragtag group of filthy yard-apes that did it.  So rather than a fun game of “hunt the Indians”, the boys all get captured and tied up in the middle of the Indian village.  There are teepees all around, despite the fact that teepees were more of a Great Plains thing and this tribe lives in the middle of a forest on an island.  

There is a lot of war paint, whooping, hollering, and any number of stereotypical (if not blatantly racist) things going on as the Indians prepare to execute the lost boys and the Darling brothers in a bloodbath of death and violence and the usual mosaic of innocent children being slaughtered by Indians.  Just as it’s getting particularly ugly, Peter Pan shows up with Wendy and Tiger Lily in tow, and everything is forgiven in favor of everybody dancing around the bonfire in loincloths singing impossibly racist songs.  Except for Wendy.  Wendy gets to enjoy a glaring example of racism and sexual discrimination simultaneously as a large Indian woman tells her “Squaw no dance.  Squaw gettum firewood”.

At long last, everybody retires to hangman’s tree, which is the secret location of Peter Pan’s hideout.  Wendy becomes very motherly and convinces everyone except Peter that they’d rather tidy up and go to bed early than party around a bonfire.  She does this by reminding them via song that they are all motherless vagrants and that nobody loves them.  This seems unnecessarily passive aggressive until one considers that her entire trip to Neverland has thus far been fraught with peril, disappointment, and emotionally traumatizing near-death experiences.  

On a parallel timeline to all of this, Mr. Smee somehow manages to capture Tinkerbell, who apparently doesn’t understand the concept of being banished from Neverland and was sulking around the island feeling sorry for herself.  Smee takes her to Captain Hook, who finds it ridiculously easy to manipulate her into acts of treachery.  Just by playing on Tinkerbell’s jealousy of Wendy, Hook convinces the duplicitous little shit to give up the location of Peter Pan’s hideout.  She makes Hook pinky swear that he won’t hurt Peter Pan and believes him when he says he won’t, which leads us to believe that she is not, by any stretch of the imagination, the crunchiest peanut in the turd.  

Tinkerbell goes to the big map of Neverland on Hooks desk and points to one of three features that actually appear on the map:  Hangman’s tree.  Hook never thought to look there, even though Neverland is only about the size of a city block and there are only a few possible places Peter Pan could be hiding, a fact which serves to brilliantly illustrate the fact that Captain Hook is a raging dumbass.    

He's also a registered bastard, and immediately locks Tinkerbells psychotic pixie ass in a lantern where she gnashes her teeth and beats her tiny fists against the glass, somehow surprised and outraged that a dastardly pirate would betray her.   

Next (Part VI): http://extremenoob.blogspot.com/2014/06/peter-pan-part-vi.html
Previous (Part IV): http://extremenoob.blogspot.com/2014/06/peter-pan-part-iv.html