Peter Pan - Part IV

Part IV

Since the pirates (or at least their good captain) are so maniacally obsessed with weaving new rigging from Peter Pan’s entrails, they ignore Tinkerbell and the rest of the kids while Peter distracts them.  Not much is said about how he does this exactly, but one suspects that there was some mooning, and the appropriate amounts of nose-thumbing and finger waggling to accompany it.  

Wendy and the boys try to follow Tinkerbell, but they fall behind because she is too fast and gets way ahead of them.  Tinkerbell, as it turns out, while innocuously diminutive, beautiful and magical, is prone to fits of horrible murderous jealousy and rage.  Unbeknownst to Wendy and the boys (but beknownst to us) is the fact that Tinkerbell secretly loves Peter in a romantical way and has deduced that Peter doth doteth upon the Wendy girl a bit overmuch.  

Tinkerbell doesn’t seem to take into account the moral issues which arise from inter-species romance (although little literature is available on the ramifications of fairy/elf-boy unions), and doesn’t worry that her affections might not be reciprocated.  Instead of mentioning anything to anybody, she decides to solve her perceived love triangle problem by abruptly ending Wendy’s short, fragile life.  She nips ahead to the hideout and manipulates the lost boys into doing her dirty work for her by telling them (via little bell sounds which the lost boys understand somehow) that Peter wants them to shoot the wicked Wendy-bird out of the sky.  

The lost boys, in blind obedience to anything Peter says, even via Tink and even if it seems psychotic and unnecessary, trundle outside armed with slings and stones and bows and arrows.  They take to firing wildly into the air, and Wendy (to her credit) absorbs a few pebbles to the jaw before her happy thought wears out and she begins to plummet to her doom in abject terror.  The tragically disturbed Tinkerbell watches with glee.  

Peter, who must have known a shortcut, appears out of nowhere and catches Wendy just before gravity turns her into a griddle-cake, effectively shitting directly into Tinkerbells victory Cheerios.  He is mightily pissed off at Tink, and lets her know it by banishing her forever from Neverland (rather than imprisoning her for attempted murder, or hanging her, which wouldn’t really work since she has wings, and none of the lost boys knows how to construct a proper guillotine).   Banishment ensures that she becomes somebody else's problem, so Peter determines that it’s good enough.  

Wendy, who knows not what the hell even happened, feels compassion for the deranged fairy and begs Peter not to banish her forever.  Peter waffles and agrees that the banishment is only for a week (which is substantially shorter than forever and seems sorrowfully inconsistent with the severity of the crime), but Tinkerbell has already buggered off to parts unknown with her wee panties all in a wad, and doesn’t hear the altered version of her sentence.

Introductions are offered all around, and Peter promptly ditches Wendy’s brothers on the lost boys so he can take Wendy on a “tour of the island” which comes off as a thinly veiled excuse for a romantic interlude of sorts.  The romance is doomed to be short lived.  

"What better way to snuggle into a girls heart than to take her to see some real live mermaids?" thinks Peter, and his logic seems sound indeed until they get to Mermaid Lagoon.  The mermaids act incredibly fan-girlish around Peter and Wendy gets a little snooty about it.  Peter is oblivious, but soon discovers that rather than a peaceful bit of heart-melting magic and fantasy, a recently mooned and mocked Captain Hook is around the corner with his sniveling first mate Mr. Smee, using the rising tide to effectively water-board an innocent Indian girl in an attempt to get information about him.   

Previous (Part III): http://extremenoob.blogspot.com/2014/06/peter-pan-part-iii.html
Next (Part V):  http://extremenoob.blogspot.com/2014/06/peter-pan-part-v.html