** The scene: A lonely desert island. It's the same sort of 10' x 10' tiny desert island with a single scraggly palm tree that you'd see in a Far Side cartoon. On it sits a single man. We know that he is single because his Facebook status lists him as such. He has long flowing hair and a huge unkempt beard.
- Discuss.
At first glance it would seem as though he'd been there a while, but his circumstances and the apparently scarce nature of his survival conditions coupled with the inkling that there's no way he'd have been able to survive on that island sustained by only that single palm tree for long enough to facilitate such a respectable amount of beard growth begs a few questions:
Was he already sporting the hipster look already when he landed?
How many coconuts are currently available on the tree?
How many were there?
If he's been surviving on coconuts alone, how did he crack them?
Does he posses superhuman strength or telekinetic abilities?
Is there edible aquatic life in the surrounding waters?
Can he communicate with said aquatic life?
Is he wearing glasses? (I ask because Gary Larson would have undoubtedly drawn him wearing glasses, so that's how I imagine him)
If so, is his prescription such that he might use the lenses to focus a beam and burn coconuts open?
Does he wish he had glasses?
Is he bummed that he chose contacts, or that he had corrective laser surgery?
How far away is he from the next nearest island/landmass?
Does Dominoes deliver to this particular island?
Are there factors unbeknownst to us that would contribute to his beard and hair growing faster than usual?
Has he shaved since he got to the island?
Did he by chance wash up with a boatload of non-perishable provisions which have just now run out?
Is there a nest in the palm tree from which he can harvest a daily egg?
Does he have an artificial limb that includes a Swiss Army Survival Kit complete with salt water purification tablets and a fishing pole?
Why doesn't said limb also contain a Coast Guard beacon system of some sort?
The existence of the previous questions leads me to believe that it is impossible to ascertain any usable information about the bearded man on the island without first being provided further information. In a nutshell: "I don't know, it depends."
TSN
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