So I'm leaning ever so nonchalantly against my car, watching the numbers on the gas pump whizz by at rates incomprehensible to my fragile little mind and wishing that my car ran on taco farts when something interesting happened behind me: Someone honked their horn.
Not just a little honk, like "Hey Biff, I see you there on the sidewalk, how you been ol' buddy?" but a big honk, like "Hey Biff you horse-toothed jackass, you just ran over my middle toe!"
This got my attention, so I turned my head to see what was going on. Just as I did I noticed a silver car streaking through an intersection with an obviously red light overhead. Inches from turning it into a tender and juicy T-bone was a big gnarly red pickup truck, the driver of which I deduced was the honker of the horn I had heard.
"That guy must have someplace important to be" I ascertained, and without a second thought re-allocated my attention back to the numbers on the pump, since they affect my wallet directly while random horn-honkers generally do not. Then I noticed the same silver car pulling into the gas station.
"He was in an awful hurry just to get gas" I decided.
"What a putz!" I further decided.
A man in a suit got out of the silver car and commenced an ordinary, unhurried gas pumping ritual, apparently oblivious to the near-death experience in his very recent past. Less oblivious was the guy in the big red truck, who had taken the time to circle around the gas station and pull in alongside the silver car.
Suit-man stood and looked rather alarmed as a textbook redneck leaned out of his truck window, shook his fist and lit him up with as nice a stream of character damaging tirade as I've heard in a while.
Something like this:
"What the hell is the matter with you, ya sack of crap?! You saw that @#%^ light was red, you know the !^#%#&* roads are wet, you could have #$^&(!% killed somebody! DUMB ASS! Yeah you heard me, DUMB ASS!"
It went on for some time. Then he took off, still muttering and shaking his head.
The whole episode left me feeling happy, with a little of my faith in humanity restored.
Many people would have just let the horn-honk suffice to let the guy in the silver car know he was a schmuck. Not this guy. He made the extra effort. He took the extra time, and really let the fella know just how much of a schmuck he was. I salute him.
Here's to you, random redneck! The world needs more doers.
TSN
1 comment:
Good for the redneck! I have wanted to give other drivers a piece of my mind so many times, but you never know who might have a gun on them. Not a problem for rednecks though, they carry more guns in their trucks than anybody :~)
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