I swear...
My cat is having puppies
Someone stole my windshield
Ghost pirates dropped an anchor on my mailbox
Google Earth photographed me naked, and I had to take them to court
My belt loop caught in the garage door and I hung there for an hour
The power went out and the traffic light never turned green
I got Gorilla Glue mixed up with my contact cleaner
The baby ate my car keys
My water-pick was actually the bidet, and I damn near drowned
My GPS was set for Bangkok
I had to carry my wedding ring to Mordor
The kids nailed my shoes to the floor
A buffalo ate my smart-car
I got the carpet steamer confused with the blow dryer, I'm on my way to the ER
I tried to plug in my straight razor
The bomb squad robot was going through my underwear drawer
My driveway was pointed the wrong way
I got my tongue caught in the toaster
My atomic clock ran out of atoms
The parking meter only takes gold bullion
The cop who arrested me didn't speak English
The ferry sank with my breakfast sandwich still on it
I got stuck to a bus stop bench
My gas tank was clogged with Mardi Gras beads
A tornado dropped a house on my ex
And THAT'S why I'm late for work.
2 comments:
A very interesting poem. There's humor in it and I'm laughing! I love the way you write. Keep it up! :)
I had some help writing this one from a guy I work with. Two heads are always better than one, unless it's teenage heads on a road trip, in which case 1+1=0!
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